Kindness Rocks – it really does!

I was very fortunate to have had the opportunity on February 27th to be at the Kindness Rocks concerts at Gleneagle Secondary. There were three concerts on this day with over 4000 students in grades 4-12 from 17 schools in our district attending. It was one of the many events across Canada celebrating Pink Shirt Day, raising awareness of anti-bullying initiatives.

Kindness Rocks is one of those events in a students schooling that will likely be forever burned into their memories. Years from now I am confident that you will be able to ask any of the students that were in attendance that day if they remember being there; their answer will undoubtedly be an emphatic YES! The show is so different from anything our students usually see in a school environment; it is a professional rock and roll show that truly captures their attention. This is what allows the messages of kindness to come through so strongly. The music and the performers are relevant to the students, which enables them to actually hear the messages and stories the performers shared with them.  There is no doubt the students were engaged during the show as this video clip of Dirty Radio performing demonstrates.

Dirty Radio engaging students while performing at Kindness Rocks!!

One of the stories from the show really stood out for me as an example of the full impact bullying can have.  The story was shared by Mark who played the keyboards for the musical   performances.  His story started back in elementary school where he was living the typical awkward existence of many boys that age. However, one of Mark’s classmates named Barry  decided that Mark was special, and began bullying him on an ongoing basis.  Barry bullied Mark all the way through elementary school and throughout high school as well.  All the typical bullying behaviours were present, name calling, public humiliation, it even got physical at times.  Although Mark had no idea why Barry was picking on him, he was fortunate that he did have a group of friends that stuck by him and a loving family that also supported him.  The bullying that Barry inflicted on Mark was completely unprovoked and unnecessary, Mark was no threat to Barry in any way.  Yet, for some reason Barry continued relentlessly until high school came to an end and they went their own ways.  Fortunately for Mark, he was finding his passion in music at the same time that Barry was trying to make him feel miserable.  Mark was able to move on in his life and never really thought about his high school tormentor again.  Mark chose to follow his passion of music after graduation which led to many great experiences, recording music, playing live shows and touring like a rock star – his life was good.

Mark never gave Barry a second thought after high school, until his 10 year reunion.  He wondered what it would be like this time if he ran into him – would he be the same bully or would he have matured?  Barry never showed up at that reunion for Mark to find out, but one of Barry’s friends was there and he had a message for Mark.  The friend told Mark that Barry was sorry that he couldn’t be there in person, then proceeded to give him a letter that Barry had written to Mark.  In the letter, Barry explained how he had been quite successful after high school, he had a wonderful wife and children, a great job – he was happy in his life. However, Barry also mentioned that he had one regret in life that had haunted him for many years and that was how he bullied Mark throughout their school years.  It turns out that Barry’s bullying impacted his own life, just like it did Mark’s except Mark was able to move on once he left school, while Barry was stuck with the guilt of what he had done to Mark all those years ago.

This type of behaviour has been going on for many years whether on the school ground, in the workplace or in the home.  It is not a problem that is isolated to the students of today.  The question is what can we do to start recognizing that this type of ongoing behaviour can really do damage to all of the people involved, whether it be the victim or those doing the intimidation or abuse.  I don’t have the answer, but I really liked what one of the young performers read out to the audience at the Kindness Rocks concerts.  Michaela referenced a letter to the editor that she had written to her peers in a local paper. Her ideas were quite simple, but I feel like they could be exceptionally powerful – “say hi to someone you don’t usually talk to. Smile more. Don’t be afraid to give a stranger a compliment. Create conversation based on ideas and thoughts, not off of the judgment of another person.”  I hope the students and adults in attendance will do what they can to try some of the suggestions.

Together maybe we can make the world a better place.  Thanks to all involved with Kindness Rocks for creating such a high energy and meaningful show.  Kindness Rocks – it really does!!

The Ted Factor…

As I progress through the years of life, I find myself becoming more reflective. I like to think about the moments – the good ones, the bad ones; the ones that change the course of life, the ones that dig a deeper rut; the ones when risks were taken, the ones when risks were avoided; and of course the ones that are happy, and the ones that are sad. It is amazing how many of these moments are accumulated over the years that have significant impact on what we do, what we believe, where we live and ultimately who we are. But in the end after replaying my life on fast forward, I realize that all of those moments are only significant because of the people and the relationships that are attached to them, or the relationships that resulted from them.

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That brings us to the ‘Ted Factor’ and the relationship I have had with him and the lessons I have learned.

Ted is one of the most inspiring people that I know, and I have been fortunate to develop a close relationship with him over the years. He is a devoted family man, a retired teacher with 33 years of wisdom, a coach of countless soccer, baseball and basketball teams, and an extremely generous volunteer. He is also the kindest and friendliest person you could ever meet, I know I can’t think of anyone else that I have met that is like him. Ted is one of those rare people that has lived his life smiling every day and saying hello to everyone that he comes across whether he has met them before or not. He has a knack for making people smile, he is a good man, one I feel privileged to know and learn from. He has been a mentor for so many people over the years.

I can’t remember a time when I have been out with Ted when I didn’t hear the words from some stranger “Did you teach, I think you taught me in 1972”. Then Ted comes back usually with some comment like, “yes I remember you, I taught your younger sister too.” I am usually blown away that either of them remember, let alone recognize each other, because some of the people that say hi are out with their teenaged grandchildren. As an educator myself, I wonder if the students I taught in my first few years will remember me in the year 2040?

One of Ted’s greatest traits is that he is blissfully ignorant when he wants to be, which allows him to be so positive and focused on the ‘moments’ he shares with all of the people in his life. He doesn’t worry, and he plays the cards he is dealt with a smile on his face. Recently, Ted has had some serious health issues. What has emerged from this difficult time is something that I don’t think Ted would ever have imagined. The number of people that have reached out to wish him well has been phenomenal. For the first time, I believe Ted is starting to realize the level of influence he has had on the lives of people he forged relationships with throughout the years. Old friends, new friends, former neighbours, his former students and his baseball players, members of local community groups, waiters and waitresses from his favourite restaurants, his mechanic, they have all been in touch to wish him well and comment on how he has influenced their lives. It has certainly energized Ted to get his health back so he can continue with his relationships and make many more new ones.

The single greatest life lesson I have learned from Ted is that when it comes right down to it, the relationships we have with people is what makes life worth living. The moments we have with family, friends, students, coworkers and acquaintances are made extra special and memorable if we spend time to care for the relationships. Ted has shown that a smile and hello can go a long way to having a lasting impact on people.

I am so fortunate that I can call Ted a friend, a mentor and a confidante. I love reflecting on the moments we have shared and the lessons I have learned over the years and I look forward to the ones we have yet to share.

However, what I am most thankful for in my relationship with Ted is that I get to call him Dad!

Love you Dad, thanks for being you.